I would like to take this opportunity to talk to any of the young women who read my blog and felt inspired by what I've written. This will be my last post.
I started this blog as a lark. I write short stories in my spare time and I was snowed in. Hence, "In Loving Submission." If you are a fundie to whom my little blurb sounded like something you wanted to read, I feel for you. I really do. I'm stopping the joke because real people are getting really upset and I think it's time to make myself known.
Yes, it's a joke. It's an over the top joke. But the sentiment is posted in countless blogs all over the internet. There are actually women who subscribe to this lifestyle in some way: submissive, modest, purity, feminine arts, etc. There are countless women who have been kept undereducated, unskilled, under a man's thumb, whether it be their father or their husband. They believe their sole purpose is to birth a multitude of little children to "train up in the Lord," i.e. teach girls to perpetuate the same cycle over and over again and teach little boys they will one day have dominion over the women in their lives.
There is no Prince Charming. You are not princesses. You do not live in a fairy tale. There are only men and woman who are trying the best they can to live good lives. What you should want is not a man to rescue you from spinsterhood or someone to protect you but you should want a man who values your mind and soul. You should want a man who wants you to be more than a submissive doormat. Real men to do not need to rule the roost, they need a partner. A well-educated, intelligent, outspoken partner who is interested in building a life with someone, hand in hand. Real men are not threatened by women who have minds of their own, who are intelligent and capable.
Did you really think it was appropriate for a husband to "correct" his wife? Correct her spelling, yes, correct her behavior, no. Where does this come from??? A husband and wife should be partners. Yes, they should disagree and talk and come to compromises. Under no circumstances should the wife be a child to be corrected. A husband is NOT a substitute father.
Get an education. There are plenty of online programs that you can do between breastfeeding and cooking. Your husband may not be around forever to support you and if you have a multitude of children you owe it to them to be able to support them. There is no excuse for having children YOU can't support. The most loving thing you can do for your children is to have an education which does NOT include "Biblical Science" but instead includes critical thought.
Get on the pill. I don't care what Michelle Duggar says. It doesn't cause abortions. Use your common sense. The female body is not supposed to birth child after child after child. Respect your body enough to give it a break. Mother the children you have.
In that vein, quit foisting your motherly duties off onto your daughters. You bred them, you raise them. I don't care if Rebekah or Ruth just loves babies; these are not their babies. Their babies are way into the future. Let your daughters get an education, let them think, breathe, and develop their own personalities. No matter what you do you may have a daughter who doesn't really want to be a mother and you know what? That's okay! Not every woman is destined to have twelve children in a shoebox of a house.
More importantly, figure out who you are and what you want - don't rely on what you've been taught to guide you. The most important reason to have higher education is to develop critical thought. That one trait will save you time and time again in the real world.
In case anyone is interested, I'm a single atheist. I wrote every single one of these posts in a single day. I simply regurgitated every single bromide of fundie thought I knew. Which only proves that none of you fundies think for yourself, you simply parrot the party line.
I do want to apologize to my Catholic readers. I was pretty sure that you were all in on the joke so I played along. If anyone was truly offended, I apologize. I have the utmost respect for your faith.
Big props to my peeps at Free Jinger for figuring it out so quickly and then joining in the fun by playing along. I hope it was entertaining - I thought it might be a fun diversion for us.
In fundie fun,
Gizmola
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Beautiful Modesty
My dear husband and I believe very strongly in modesty. We were both raised to respect our bodies and souls and hearts. To do that we were very careful in what we presented to the outside world and to others. Form fitting clothes, jeans, low cut shirts were not even an option for me growing up. How grateful I am to my loving parents for teaching me the importance of dressing for the glory of the Lord instead of the glory of teenage hormones! I was protected at all times from the glances of others. When I was noticed it was for my countenance, respect for my femininity and admiration for my modesty. Which is, of course the point of dressing modestly. No Christian woman wants to be noticed for the size of her bosom or the length of her legs. She is a precious jewel in her father's crown and should be clothed in such a way as to bring honor to him and respect for herself.
I have only ever worn dresses. Exclusively. Yes, it can be done. There is nothing that requires pants. I would never dare wear clothes meant for a man. Even if it was a simple top that covered my elbows and collarbones and a skirt to mid-calf, it was enough to remind me that my body was meant only for the one God intended for me and for the glory of God. My body, as a woman, was shaped by God's loving hand to create a place of beauty for my husband so we could create the family God had chosen for us. There is no other purpose to my body but to glorify God in creating and nuturing my family.
My husband also dressed modestly. No untucked shirts or baggy jeans. He was always freshly pressed and clothed in simple clothes to denote his committment to God's work in his life. He wore jeans only when doing dirty household chores but otherwise we dressed as a professional man of honor.
We teach our daughters and sons these same principles. Yes, we dress our daughters exclusively in dresses, not pants. How can small children adequately play? That makes me laugh because for centuries girls wore dresses. It's only been in the last fifty years that women started wearing pants. And look what's happened to the family in the last fifty years! Women have tried to usurp man's place in the world and destroy our family system. How sad!
Our sons wear polos or button down shirts at all times. Tucked in and clean. It is a source of pride to have beautiful children, well groomed and lovely. It reminds me that these are precious souls who need to be treated well and with love. It is a mark of my love for them and my glorifying what God has entrusted in me to have children that look cared for.
When anyone eschews modesty they do so to a base need for attention. That tells me that they are insecure and out of touch with their Lord. It breaks my heart when I see girls my daughter's age walking around in stretchy pants and skimpy shirts. I want to cry. Don't their fathers want their daughters protected from prying eyes and men who will see them as only sexual beings? It's well documented that girls who are allowed to dress provactively will be sexually active, will break from their families, end up in drugs and alcohol and without any sense of their relationship with God. What parent would want that?
I admit, it's hard to find clothing for little girls that glorify their femininity without displaying their bodies. Even for tiny, little, precious, innocent little girls it's hard to find clothes that speak to their honor and purity. Suggestive slogans and tight shirts, short skirts and low rise pants are all de rigeur these days. What happened to lovely clothes with ribbons and bows, of light fabrics and flowery prints? What happened to little girls looking like little girls?
I make a lot of my daughters' clothes. It's the only way I know of making sure they are dressed to not only our standards but God's standards as well. Satin ribbons around a white dotted swiss dress make a much more beautiful statement. That says that the girl is a protected, pure daugher of God. What can be more beautiful than that?
I have only ever worn dresses. Exclusively. Yes, it can be done. There is nothing that requires pants. I would never dare wear clothes meant for a man. Even if it was a simple top that covered my elbows and collarbones and a skirt to mid-calf, it was enough to remind me that my body was meant only for the one God intended for me and for the glory of God. My body, as a woman, was shaped by God's loving hand to create a place of beauty for my husband so we could create the family God had chosen for us. There is no other purpose to my body but to glorify God in creating and nuturing my family.
My husband also dressed modestly. No untucked shirts or baggy jeans. He was always freshly pressed and clothed in simple clothes to denote his committment to God's work in his life. He wore jeans only when doing dirty household chores but otherwise we dressed as a professional man of honor.
We teach our daughters and sons these same principles. Yes, we dress our daughters exclusively in dresses, not pants. How can small children adequately play? That makes me laugh because for centuries girls wore dresses. It's only been in the last fifty years that women started wearing pants. And look what's happened to the family in the last fifty years! Women have tried to usurp man's place in the world and destroy our family system. How sad!
Our sons wear polos or button down shirts at all times. Tucked in and clean. It is a source of pride to have beautiful children, well groomed and lovely. It reminds me that these are precious souls who need to be treated well and with love. It is a mark of my love for them and my glorifying what God has entrusted in me to have children that look cared for.
When anyone eschews modesty they do so to a base need for attention. That tells me that they are insecure and out of touch with their Lord. It breaks my heart when I see girls my daughter's age walking around in stretchy pants and skimpy shirts. I want to cry. Don't their fathers want their daughters protected from prying eyes and men who will see them as only sexual beings? It's well documented that girls who are allowed to dress provactively will be sexually active, will break from their families, end up in drugs and alcohol and without any sense of their relationship with God. What parent would want that?
I admit, it's hard to find clothing for little girls that glorify their femininity without displaying their bodies. Even for tiny, little, precious, innocent little girls it's hard to find clothes that speak to their honor and purity. Suggestive slogans and tight shirts, short skirts and low rise pants are all de rigeur these days. What happened to lovely clothes with ribbons and bows, of light fabrics and flowery prints? What happened to little girls looking like little girls?
I make a lot of my daughters' clothes. It's the only way I know of making sure they are dressed to not only our standards but God's standards as well. Satin ribbons around a white dotted swiss dress make a much more beautiful statement. That says that the girl is a protected, pure daugher of God. What can be more beautiful than that?
God's Choice
While our favorite family activity is Bible study, sometimes we like to spend time with a movie. We all snuggle on the couch around Daddy and pop popcorn and turn down the lights. We all enjoy this time together, especially since our busy schedules allow for it once in a while. It is a treat.
The only problem is that there are so few good movies for families. Especially ones for little children. Mommy and Daddy might be able to enjoy "Fireproof" or the "Left Behind" series, but those aren't good for little ones. We do have a collection of the old Disney movies and that often suffices but picking new movies is difficult.
We had wanted to wach "Ratatouille" but after my husband previewed it we decided against it. Apparently, there's a female chef who glorifies female career obsession and we don't want to model that to our daughters.
"Beauty and the Beast" was one my daughter saw at the home of our friends. After we found out the movie depicted a girl who lived with a man outside of Holy Wedlock we had sharp words for those "friends." They insisted it was an innocent Disney movie but we made sure that they understood our daughter was too precious for any movie that would turn her from her true path.
Some movies we do not watch after having previewing them:
"It Happened One Night" - unmarried man and woman share a hotel room
"King and I" - we don't feel Yul Brenner's outfits are modest enough
"A Little Mermaid" - the daughter leaves the father's protection to chase after a man
"My Fair Lady" - a woman lives in a house with two men and her father is not godly
"Peter Pan" - children run away from home
Some movies we do approve of:
"Greatest Heroes and Legends: Life of Jesus"
"Greatest Heroes and Legends: Daniel in the Lions Den"
"Veggie Tales"
"GodRocks Bible Toons"
"Life With Jesus"
Of course, there are other movies Mommy and Daddy can watch without the children but we really don't like doing anything without our children. We have seen some of these multiple times but they always reveal new things to us and remind us of the most important thing: God and Jesus! Glory to the highest!
The only problem is that there are so few good movies for families. Especially ones for little children. Mommy and Daddy might be able to enjoy "Fireproof" or the "Left Behind" series, but those aren't good for little ones. We do have a collection of the old Disney movies and that often suffices but picking new movies is difficult.
We had wanted to wach "Ratatouille" but after my husband previewed it we decided against it. Apparently, there's a female chef who glorifies female career obsession and we don't want to model that to our daughters.
"Beauty and the Beast" was one my daughter saw at the home of our friends. After we found out the movie depicted a girl who lived with a man outside of Holy Wedlock we had sharp words for those "friends." They insisted it was an innocent Disney movie but we made sure that they understood our daughter was too precious for any movie that would turn her from her true path.
Some movies we do not watch after having previewing them:
"It Happened One Night" - unmarried man and woman share a hotel room
"King and I" - we don't feel Yul Brenner's outfits are modest enough
"A Little Mermaid" - the daughter leaves the father's protection to chase after a man
"My Fair Lady" - a woman lives in a house with two men and her father is not godly
"Peter Pan" - children run away from home
Some movies we do approve of:
"Greatest Heroes and Legends: Life of Jesus"
"Greatest Heroes and Legends: Daniel in the Lions Den"
"Veggie Tales"
"GodRocks Bible Toons"
"Life With Jesus"
Of course, there are other movies Mommy and Daddy can watch without the children but we really don't like doing anything without our children. We have seen some of these multiple times but they always reveal new things to us and remind us of the most important thing: God and Jesus! Glory to the highest!
Loving Correction
In any family, no matter how committed they are to living by God's will, problems arise. A simple discussion about which toy to play with becomes heated. A child, no matter how well trained, will seek to push boundaries by doing something that's been forbidden. So how do we seek to mold the correct behaviors and punish for bad behaviors?
First of all, we don't use the word punish. Punish means we're doing something punitive, almost revenge-like. That only makes the child defensive and they close their hearts. Instead, we talk about correction. Correction can be though gentle words to guide them back to the correct path. It can be a time out where the child is isolated so they can think of what's transpired until they can return with real remorse and contrition. Or, it can be corporeal.
Yes, we spank our children. Or rather, we use corporeal training. This is not done to hurt the child. It is not done to make the child suffer. It's done to bend the willfull child to move their sinful spirit back to the fold of love and in God's grace. What do we use? We simply use our hand. And more often than not it's a quick swat to ensure they know this is a serious matter, one that must be dealt with immediately. We use corporeal training when we want their complete, immediate attention. When they reach for a hot pot, run towards the road or hurt a sibling. We usually give a swat or two on the thigh. Bums are sexual areas and not appropriate to touch. So we give a hard, sharp swat on the thigh. Granted, it's been very rare that we've had to do this but believe me, a quick, stinging swat will get their attention even more quickly than can words.
Plus, it is shameful. Do we want our children to live in shame? No, we want them confident and proud of their relationship with God and proud of being in our loving family. But when they do something very dangerous or very sinful we want them to be shamed. Shame teaches, it reminds us that this is not only wrong behavior but it is hurtful behavior and it cannot continue. A swift swat and a sense of deep shame teaches better than anything at times.
No matter if it is a swat or a time out or just gentle words, once Daddy arrives home it is time to take the offending child aside for more discussion. It can be a simple argument over toys or a refusal to do chores cheerfully. In any case, Daddy talks with the child, discusses the problem and works to change their heart attitudes. By the end of the night the child invariably apologizes and begs for forgiveness. Always, we encourage our children to turn only to God for forgiveness. It is only through his Son, Jesus Christ that we can gain any forgiveness.
What happens when Mommy misbehaves? Daddy corrects her. Yes, Mommy is held to the same rules as the children. As the head of the household Daddy is responsbile for the spiritual well being of EVERYONE in the household. How does this work? It depends on the infraction. Imagine that a note of nagging enters Mommy's voice. Daddy can give Mommy a look that simply reminds her that he is the authority. Most of the time Mommy remembers her place and acquieses. If she should continue Mommy might get a time out where she can reflect for a moment on what is happening, take a moment for prayer, beg God for forgiveness in her transgression and then rejoin her family in joy and gratitude. Does Daddy ever swat Mommy? Well, no, but Mommy also doesn't run into the road! Mommy correction is always to remind her to find her way back to her path as the spouse who is under the authority of the spiritual head of the home, Daddy.
Correction is an act of love. It is to ensure safety and security of the family. And that burden rests on the shoulders of Daddy at all times. At no time, no matter what he is doing does Daddy not remember and think of the safety of his family. His greatest responsibility is to take care of his family and lovingly correcting all members to remind them of their duty to family, and more importantly, God is his most important task. I am proud of my dear husband for being able to recognize when correction is needed and to deal with it fairly and justly. That's why I am so grateful and blessed to be under his protection.
First of all, we don't use the word punish. Punish means we're doing something punitive, almost revenge-like. That only makes the child defensive and they close their hearts. Instead, we talk about correction. Correction can be though gentle words to guide them back to the correct path. It can be a time out where the child is isolated so they can think of what's transpired until they can return with real remorse and contrition. Or, it can be corporeal.
Yes, we spank our children. Or rather, we use corporeal training. This is not done to hurt the child. It is not done to make the child suffer. It's done to bend the willfull child to move their sinful spirit back to the fold of love and in God's grace. What do we use? We simply use our hand. And more often than not it's a quick swat to ensure they know this is a serious matter, one that must be dealt with immediately. We use corporeal training when we want their complete, immediate attention. When they reach for a hot pot, run towards the road or hurt a sibling. We usually give a swat or two on the thigh. Bums are sexual areas and not appropriate to touch. So we give a hard, sharp swat on the thigh. Granted, it's been very rare that we've had to do this but believe me, a quick, stinging swat will get their attention even more quickly than can words.
Plus, it is shameful. Do we want our children to live in shame? No, we want them confident and proud of their relationship with God and proud of being in our loving family. But when they do something very dangerous or very sinful we want them to be shamed. Shame teaches, it reminds us that this is not only wrong behavior but it is hurtful behavior and it cannot continue. A swift swat and a sense of deep shame teaches better than anything at times.
No matter if it is a swat or a time out or just gentle words, once Daddy arrives home it is time to take the offending child aside for more discussion. It can be a simple argument over toys or a refusal to do chores cheerfully. In any case, Daddy talks with the child, discusses the problem and works to change their heart attitudes. By the end of the night the child invariably apologizes and begs for forgiveness. Always, we encourage our children to turn only to God for forgiveness. It is only through his Son, Jesus Christ that we can gain any forgiveness.
What happens when Mommy misbehaves? Daddy corrects her. Yes, Mommy is held to the same rules as the children. As the head of the household Daddy is responsbile for the spiritual well being of EVERYONE in the household. How does this work? It depends on the infraction. Imagine that a note of nagging enters Mommy's voice. Daddy can give Mommy a look that simply reminds her that he is the authority. Most of the time Mommy remembers her place and acquieses. If she should continue Mommy might get a time out where she can reflect for a moment on what is happening, take a moment for prayer, beg God for forgiveness in her transgression and then rejoin her family in joy and gratitude. Does Daddy ever swat Mommy? Well, no, but Mommy also doesn't run into the road! Mommy correction is always to remind her to find her way back to her path as the spouse who is under the authority of the spiritual head of the home, Daddy.
Correction is an act of love. It is to ensure safety and security of the family. And that burden rests on the shoulders of Daddy at all times. At no time, no matter what he is doing does Daddy not remember and think of the safety of his family. His greatest responsibility is to take care of his family and lovingly correcting all members to remind them of their duty to family, and more importantly, God is his most important task. I am proud of my dear husband for being able to recognize when correction is needed and to deal with it fairly and justly. That's why I am so grateful and blessed to be under his protection.
Quiverfull or Full of Love??
Many people have asked me if we are a Quiverfull family. I am not even sure what that means! Is it a movement or a cult? Bottom line: we know of only one thing: God. The reason we have seven children and will accept whatever number of blessings God plans for us is because my dear husband and I share one goal and base our life on only one principle: God comes first. God's will is the only path we're willing to take in life. If it is not willed by God we do not do it. That's the only way we judge anything in our lives. We pray and pray and pray some more. But in the end, we rely solely on God. We relied on Him to guide us to each other. We relied on His timing on marrying. We relied on Him to guide us to my husband's ministry. There is nothing in our lives where we take the lead and decide "this is what WE want." It is ONLY "what God wants."
So, if we trust God with our marriage, our vocations, our ministry, our hearts, our lives why would we NOT trust Him with our family? Very simple. We trust God with everything in our life so we trust Him in determing the children that should be ours. We consider our children to be on loan from God. They have been created long before they were sent to us. My womb has just been the vessel for those souls God wishes to be placed on this earth. Therefore, only God knows when and how to open and close my womb.
While my father was careful to discuss this with my intended long before I even entered the picture, I never considered another path. I had grown up with many siblings and knew the joy of a large family. At no time did I consider whether I would want to limit the number of my children. In fact, as far as I can remember when I've thought of a woman determing that she'd limit the number of beautiful souls God wishes on this earth I become not only saddened but angry. Believe me, I have great passion for both God and children, so having a large family is perfect for me!
What would I have done if Issac had wanted a small family, if he had wanted me to learn about and use some sort of birth control? Well, suffice to say we'd not have been married because our heart attitudes would not have been in sync. God knows what He does when He matches up two people and He would not have sent my beloved to me if our hearts were not already knit together in His Kingdom. It would never occur to my dear husband to ask me to use some sort of birth control that could possibly (and probably) result in a spontaneous abortion than he would ask me to work outside the home. It's a non-issue in our life.
Unfortunately, even good Christian women have been led astray by the world that tells them they can circumvent God's will and decide on their own how many children they should bring into this world. Due to their ignorance and their sinful nature they have killed baby after baby. Every birth control method kills a baby. It's just that simple.
The Pill. Supposedly a wonderful invention that "freed" women has done more damage to the family than even divorce! The Pill lets a baby exist and then kills it! It causes abortions. It makes the womb inhospitable for the baby that's been created. No matter what anyone tells you, the moment the sperm and egg meet a baby exists! If that baby is flushed from a woman's womb then it is pure murder. No matter what. The IUD does the same thing. And shots and other pills...it's all murder because it prevents the baby from taking shelter in his/her rightful home: the mommy's womb.
What about condoms? I will answer in one word: Onan. That's all you need to know. It's wrong to spill a man's seed without the intention of making a baby. Why else would you want to? It is just a way to make it okay for people to behave like animals and removes God and his perfect plan from their lives, their hearts and their future families.
Families. That's what is lost when evil women decide to forgo God's gifts. They destroy families. They refuse their families. I can watch my son playing with his little brother, watch my oldest daughter work on her needlepoint or play with the baby and think to myself, "This is what women are killing: their families." I will never understand that.
What about methods where the Mommy and Daddy only come together in love when the Mommy is not producing eggs? It's still a rejection of God's blessings. It is still saying that a man and wife know better than God. And no one knows God better than he does. Only He knows his plan for our lives and we can only follow his will. His will is for us to have children, to create families and raise them to serve his will. To decide that a family is not good enough for a couple is to be in direct conflict with the Lord. What good can come of that?
I will not address abortion. Very simply, it is murder. Always, at all times. Murdeer. End of discussion.
So my beloved husband and I have many children because that's what God has determined for our family. We do nothing but indulge in our love and out of that love God sends us souls to protect and raise and train to glorify the Lord. We say that we are not Quiverfull; we are Full of Love!
So, if we trust God with our marriage, our vocations, our ministry, our hearts, our lives why would we NOT trust Him with our family? Very simple. We trust God with everything in our life so we trust Him in determing the children that should be ours. We consider our children to be on loan from God. They have been created long before they were sent to us. My womb has just been the vessel for those souls God wishes to be placed on this earth. Therefore, only God knows when and how to open and close my womb.
While my father was careful to discuss this with my intended long before I even entered the picture, I never considered another path. I had grown up with many siblings and knew the joy of a large family. At no time did I consider whether I would want to limit the number of my children. In fact, as far as I can remember when I've thought of a woman determing that she'd limit the number of beautiful souls God wishes on this earth I become not only saddened but angry. Believe me, I have great passion for both God and children, so having a large family is perfect for me!
What would I have done if Issac had wanted a small family, if he had wanted me to learn about and use some sort of birth control? Well, suffice to say we'd not have been married because our heart attitudes would not have been in sync. God knows what He does when He matches up two people and He would not have sent my beloved to me if our hearts were not already knit together in His Kingdom. It would never occur to my dear husband to ask me to use some sort of birth control that could possibly (and probably) result in a spontaneous abortion than he would ask me to work outside the home. It's a non-issue in our life.
Unfortunately, even good Christian women have been led astray by the world that tells them they can circumvent God's will and decide on their own how many children they should bring into this world. Due to their ignorance and their sinful nature they have killed baby after baby. Every birth control method kills a baby. It's just that simple.
The Pill. Supposedly a wonderful invention that "freed" women has done more damage to the family than even divorce! The Pill lets a baby exist and then kills it! It causes abortions. It makes the womb inhospitable for the baby that's been created. No matter what anyone tells you, the moment the sperm and egg meet a baby exists! If that baby is flushed from a woman's womb then it is pure murder. No matter what. The IUD does the same thing. And shots and other pills...it's all murder because it prevents the baby from taking shelter in his/her rightful home: the mommy's womb.
What about condoms? I will answer in one word: Onan. That's all you need to know. It's wrong to spill a man's seed without the intention of making a baby. Why else would you want to? It is just a way to make it okay for people to behave like animals and removes God and his perfect plan from their lives, their hearts and their future families.
Families. That's what is lost when evil women decide to forgo God's gifts. They destroy families. They refuse their families. I can watch my son playing with his little brother, watch my oldest daughter work on her needlepoint or play with the baby and think to myself, "This is what women are killing: their families." I will never understand that.
What about methods where the Mommy and Daddy only come together in love when the Mommy is not producing eggs? It's still a rejection of God's blessings. It is still saying that a man and wife know better than God. And no one knows God better than he does. Only He knows his plan for our lives and we can only follow his will. His will is for us to have children, to create families and raise them to serve his will. To decide that a family is not good enough for a couple is to be in direct conflict with the Lord. What good can come of that?
I will not address abortion. Very simply, it is murder. Always, at all times. Murdeer. End of discussion.
So my beloved husband and I have many children because that's what God has determined for our family. We do nothing but indulge in our love and out of that love God sends us souls to protect and raise and train to glorify the Lord. We say that we are not Quiverfull; we are Full of Love!
A Child's Heart
One of the items which plague parents with large families is how to keep up with the heart attitudes of all of their children. Life gets busy quickly, between meals and chores, worship and fellowship, it seems that every moment of every day is spoken for. One moment the bath is filled with two young children, the older daughter is making dinner, the older son is bringing in the groceries and the baby needs to be fed. From dawn to dusk we mommies spend a lot of time working hard to keep the home fires burning, making sure to run our homes as God commands, striving to please our husbands with the stewardship of his gifts. So when do parents have time to sit with their children and learn their hearts, attitudes and thoughts? No matter what commands our attention, this is one of the most important things we can do, that we must do.
Our plan is simple: we talk throughout the day. Nothing we do is done without referencing our hearts, our attitudes and our relationship with God. When two children begin to fuss over the same toy we talk about sharing, about being a servant. We talk about what God would wish for us in relation to our interactions with others. When the baby is crawling off the blanket and we hit the edge with the wooden spoon to show them their boundaries we talk to them about how to submit in love to their parents is no different than submitting in love to their awesome God. Can the baby understand? Not yet, but it's never too early to talk, to start molding those connections in the baby's mind. They'll learn.
As we take our daily walk outside we talk about nature and how God displays his awesome power through every tree, every flower. We show that God exists in every moment of our lives, in everything we see and do. It is through God's grace we have strong legs to take us on our walk, that it's through God's grace that Daddy can work hard to provide us with shoes. Everything is about education.
Because I homeschool, because I stay at home to protect the sanctity of our home I am with my children every moment of every day. I listen to the way they interact with each other, how they talk, how they reason and I can then know what's in their hearts. I see how they joyfully help with the chores, how they act lovingly towards their siblings, see how they reverence their father and know that those heart attitudes are because I shape them every single day in the image our our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Our children are still young but no topic is off limits. Our girls know already that they are precious jewels that Daddy will jealously protect from the world. The boys know they have their place to protect their sisters and mother, to learn at the knee of their earthly and Heavenly fathers to become godly men that will provide for their families. And all know that we practice JOY: Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. This is a very obvious decision we've made to direct our children to become servants of their family and, most importantly, of God.
But is that enough? Can we really know their hearts in this way? We know that as they grow Mommy and Daddy will must work even harder to keep their hearts on the correct path of the Lord, to combat the world from intruding on their faith. Because of that there is always Daddy Time.
Every night, once Mommy has tucked everyone into bed, Daddy goes to each child for a few words of encouragement and to press upon their hearts a love of the Lord. He talks about what he has done, what he has seen and how it relates to them growing up into wonderful, godly children and servants. Mommy is usually finishing feeding the baby or tidying up the home or even preparing for her own bedtime. It is a chance for Mommy to have a moment to gather her own thoughts for when she and Daddy have a chance to share their hearts with each other.
No matter how young your children are, you can always reach out to them with God's love, with God's grace and reach their hearts. No greater burden rests upon a Mommy and Daddy's shoulders. We strive to raise Christian warriors and lovely wives. Yes, even though they are young, we parents often dream of the day we gather beautiful grandchildren around us and see the miracle of God's work in the strong, capable, God fearing adults we've raised. We strive to see men who will work to provide homes and security for growing families. We can't wait to see our darling daughters under the authority of godly men, growing their own families, serving the Lord through their children.
But not too fast, please. Lord. We still want to enjoy their babyhood!
Our plan is simple: we talk throughout the day. Nothing we do is done without referencing our hearts, our attitudes and our relationship with God. When two children begin to fuss over the same toy we talk about sharing, about being a servant. We talk about what God would wish for us in relation to our interactions with others. When the baby is crawling off the blanket and we hit the edge with the wooden spoon to show them their boundaries we talk to them about how to submit in love to their parents is no different than submitting in love to their awesome God. Can the baby understand? Not yet, but it's never too early to talk, to start molding those connections in the baby's mind. They'll learn.
As we take our daily walk outside we talk about nature and how God displays his awesome power through every tree, every flower. We show that God exists in every moment of our lives, in everything we see and do. It is through God's grace we have strong legs to take us on our walk, that it's through God's grace that Daddy can work hard to provide us with shoes. Everything is about education.
Because I homeschool, because I stay at home to protect the sanctity of our home I am with my children every moment of every day. I listen to the way they interact with each other, how they talk, how they reason and I can then know what's in their hearts. I see how they joyfully help with the chores, how they act lovingly towards their siblings, see how they reverence their father and know that those heart attitudes are because I shape them every single day in the image our our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Our children are still young but no topic is off limits. Our girls know already that they are precious jewels that Daddy will jealously protect from the world. The boys know they have their place to protect their sisters and mother, to learn at the knee of their earthly and Heavenly fathers to become godly men that will provide for their families. And all know that we practice JOY: Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. This is a very obvious decision we've made to direct our children to become servants of their family and, most importantly, of God.
But is that enough? Can we really know their hearts in this way? We know that as they grow Mommy and Daddy will must work even harder to keep their hearts on the correct path of the Lord, to combat the world from intruding on their faith. Because of that there is always Daddy Time.
Every night, once Mommy has tucked everyone into bed, Daddy goes to each child for a few words of encouragement and to press upon their hearts a love of the Lord. He talks about what he has done, what he has seen and how it relates to them growing up into wonderful, godly children and servants. Mommy is usually finishing feeding the baby or tidying up the home or even preparing for her own bedtime. It is a chance for Mommy to have a moment to gather her own thoughts for when she and Daddy have a chance to share their hearts with each other.
No matter how young your children are, you can always reach out to them with God's love, with God's grace and reach their hearts. No greater burden rests upon a Mommy and Daddy's shoulders. We strive to raise Christian warriors and lovely wives. Yes, even though they are young, we parents often dream of the day we gather beautiful grandchildren around us and see the miracle of God's work in the strong, capable, God fearing adults we've raised. We strive to see men who will work to provide homes and security for growing families. We can't wait to see our darling daughters under the authority of godly men, growing their own families, serving the Lord through their children.
But not too fast, please. Lord. We still want to enjoy their babyhood!
Disagreements
It is a sad fact that no matter how a woman may claim to be a godly Christian woman there are areas in her life in which she allows the world to dictate her behavior. We are commanded by God to not only fulfill our calling with grace but to do so with a joyful heart. We are not to serve our families with a grudging heart or lash out at our loved ones due to stress. "Overwork" should not be a word in the Christian woman's vocabulary. In fact, I would venture to say that "work" shouldn't be in there. I don't "work" for my family. I serve them. I serve with a grateful servant's heart. My family is not drudgery or something I "have" to do: it is a miracle, a priviledge and gift from God himself. I should treat it as such and be grateful for every runny nose, every dirty diaper, every dirty dish and every call for help from every child God has blessed me to raise. And every difficult moment is mine to bear in cheerful silence, never to burden my hard-working, dear husband with at the end of his day. I must always remember that his day is always so much harder than mine. It is on his shoulders that our entire family rests. My dear husband also has the weight of his congregation on his shoulders, the spiritual wellbeing of many different people. This doesn't even include the other ministries he heads. If I were to meet him at the door with complaints and venting my frustrations no longer would his home, his castle, be his refuge, his place to best feel the glorious work of the Lord in his life.
But, even in the best of marriages, with the sweetest of wives and the most hardworking of husbands, disagreements can arise. These may be mere misunderstandings or more serious items that need to be addressed. Perhaps the husband has a problem with the particular dress of his wife though she may think she is still jealously guarding her modesty. Perhaps he feels that the dinners are not varied enough though she feels that she makes the most of their food dollar. Maybe he feels the children are not progressing well enough in their studies though the mother feels she spends a great deal of time and care in the education of his dear children. The bottom line is always that no matter how well run a home is there is always room for improvement. Since the ultimate responsibility of the family rests on the shoulders of the father, the head of the household, our authority, then it's important to listen carefully to his concerns.
Many women, even Christian women, will say they listen, say they'll improve but only say so to his face while grumbling in their hearts. How sad! For although Daddy may not see Mommy's evil heart, her ultimate authority, God himself will see. And he will work on her heart, to turn her back to her earthly authority with love. Of course, Satan can also work on a Mommy's heart, twisting her intentions and her heart attitudes, causing her to scorn her role, her vocation. No matter if she doesn't voice it, her family will know. The children will feel a current of negativity when she plays with them. The nursing baby will feel her stress and fuss. The older girls will feel that her heart's not in it when she tries to school them in the finer points of the domestic arts. And, most importantly, her husband will feel the turn in her attitudes. It will wedge apart the most important bond in her life on this earth.
What can a Christian woman do to combat this problem? Very simple. She must turn over her problems to the only one who can completely understand her heart: God. She must pray to his Son, Jesus Christ and to God himself to forgive her her sins. For to think badly of her husband, her children, her role in their household is a sin. To not serve with a joyful heart, with a positive attitude is a very greivious sin, nearly the worst that can beset even the most devout of Christian women.
But what if she does serve in love and joy? What if she is happy and content in her role as wife and mother yet there is an issue where she disagrees with her husband? What if he decides on a business investment with which she does not agree? What should she say if he wishes to purchase a new car yet she thinks their current car is serviceable a while longer? What if he wants to change careers yet she worries about financial instability? Should she voice her concerns to her dear husband, the man on earth who most understands and supports her? Should she press her point for the good of her family and her precious children? Isn't it her place to make her wants, desires, needs and opinions known at once?
The simple answer is NO. No, ladies, it is not our place to spend all of our time to question our husbands. You have no marriage if you don't have trust. And you must trust that your husband is always, always doing the best for his family. Every godly Christian man loves his wife as Christ loves his church. And he works deeply to not only provide but grow, encourage, support and love his family. Any woman who constantly questions, worries or nags her husband is doing more than voicing her opinion; she is questioning his relationship with God. She is questioning his integrity, his honor, his commitment to God and his family. Nothing but evil occurs when a wife begins to constantly question her husband's authority.
That's right. When your father transfers authority over you from him to your husband, he is doing exactly that. It is not empty words. It is very real, very important. From the moment your father says he gives this woman, he is telling not only your intended but God himself that your dear, beloved husband is now your authority. And what do godly women do with authority? They submit. Joyfully, with a light heart, with happiness, with utter devotion: they submit. They submit their will, their prideful will and their demands, their wants, their desires, their own needs to their husband's judgement and beliefs.
The most important part of submission is, to me, the joy of it. The joy of knowing that I am not lost, adrift in the world but under the loving, guiding protection of both my Heavenly Father but my lord on earth, my wonderful husband. I needn't worry about all the minute details of our family's path for my husband, with God's grace, knows! How freeing that is! I can bake, cook, sew, arrange flowers, play with my children, shop for wonderful food, help with my husband's ministry and, most importantly, raise his children without worrying about whether we need a new roof, if we should move to a new parish, if the car needs servicing or any of those things which God has given to the men in our life to handle. I can be the keeper at home, not the warrior in the world. That is what my dear husband does - he fights the tigers of the world, works against a sinful world while I get the profound priviledge of working in a little bubble of Godly love in our precious home.
God is so good!
But, even in the best of marriages, with the sweetest of wives and the most hardworking of husbands, disagreements can arise. These may be mere misunderstandings or more serious items that need to be addressed. Perhaps the husband has a problem with the particular dress of his wife though she may think she is still jealously guarding her modesty. Perhaps he feels that the dinners are not varied enough though she feels that she makes the most of their food dollar. Maybe he feels the children are not progressing well enough in their studies though the mother feels she spends a great deal of time and care in the education of his dear children. The bottom line is always that no matter how well run a home is there is always room for improvement. Since the ultimate responsibility of the family rests on the shoulders of the father, the head of the household, our authority, then it's important to listen carefully to his concerns.
Many women, even Christian women, will say they listen, say they'll improve but only say so to his face while grumbling in their hearts. How sad! For although Daddy may not see Mommy's evil heart, her ultimate authority, God himself will see. And he will work on her heart, to turn her back to her earthly authority with love. Of course, Satan can also work on a Mommy's heart, twisting her intentions and her heart attitudes, causing her to scorn her role, her vocation. No matter if she doesn't voice it, her family will know. The children will feel a current of negativity when she plays with them. The nursing baby will feel her stress and fuss. The older girls will feel that her heart's not in it when she tries to school them in the finer points of the domestic arts. And, most importantly, her husband will feel the turn in her attitudes. It will wedge apart the most important bond in her life on this earth.
What can a Christian woman do to combat this problem? Very simple. She must turn over her problems to the only one who can completely understand her heart: God. She must pray to his Son, Jesus Christ and to God himself to forgive her her sins. For to think badly of her husband, her children, her role in their household is a sin. To not serve with a joyful heart, with a positive attitude is a very greivious sin, nearly the worst that can beset even the most devout of Christian women.
But what if she does serve in love and joy? What if she is happy and content in her role as wife and mother yet there is an issue where she disagrees with her husband? What if he decides on a business investment with which she does not agree? What should she say if he wishes to purchase a new car yet she thinks their current car is serviceable a while longer? What if he wants to change careers yet she worries about financial instability? Should she voice her concerns to her dear husband, the man on earth who most understands and supports her? Should she press her point for the good of her family and her precious children? Isn't it her place to make her wants, desires, needs and opinions known at once?
The simple answer is NO. No, ladies, it is not our place to spend all of our time to question our husbands. You have no marriage if you don't have trust. And you must trust that your husband is always, always doing the best for his family. Every godly Christian man loves his wife as Christ loves his church. And he works deeply to not only provide but grow, encourage, support and love his family. Any woman who constantly questions, worries or nags her husband is doing more than voicing her opinion; she is questioning his relationship with God. She is questioning his integrity, his honor, his commitment to God and his family. Nothing but evil occurs when a wife begins to constantly question her husband's authority.
That's right. When your father transfers authority over you from him to your husband, he is doing exactly that. It is not empty words. It is very real, very important. From the moment your father says he gives this woman, he is telling not only your intended but God himself that your dear, beloved husband is now your authority. And what do godly women do with authority? They submit. Joyfully, with a light heart, with happiness, with utter devotion: they submit. They submit their will, their prideful will and their demands, their wants, their desires, their own needs to their husband's judgement and beliefs.
The most important part of submission is, to me, the joy of it. The joy of knowing that I am not lost, adrift in the world but under the loving, guiding protection of both my Heavenly Father but my lord on earth, my wonderful husband. I needn't worry about all the minute details of our family's path for my husband, with God's grace, knows! How freeing that is! I can bake, cook, sew, arrange flowers, play with my children, shop for wonderful food, help with my husband's ministry and, most importantly, raise his children without worrying about whether we need a new roof, if we should move to a new parish, if the car needs servicing or any of those things which God has given to the men in our life to handle. I can be the keeper at home, not the warrior in the world. That is what my dear husband does - he fights the tigers of the world, works against a sinful world while I get the profound priviledge of working in a little bubble of Godly love in our precious home.
God is so good!
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