Disagreements

It is a sad fact that no matter how a woman may claim to be a godly Christian woman there are areas in her life in which she allows the world to dictate her behavior. We are commanded by God to not only fulfill our calling with grace but to do so with a joyful heart. We are not to serve our families with a grudging heart or lash out at our loved ones due to stress. "Overwork" should not be a word in the Christian woman's vocabulary. In fact, I would venture to say that "work" shouldn't be in there. I don't "work" for my family. I serve them. I serve with a grateful servant's heart. My family is not drudgery or something I "have" to do: it is a miracle, a priviledge and gift from God himself. I should treat it as such and be grateful for every runny nose, every dirty diaper, every dirty dish and every call for help from every child God has blessed me to raise. And every difficult moment is mine to bear in cheerful silence, never to burden my hard-working, dear husband with at the end of his day. I must always remember that his day is always so much harder than mine. It is on his shoulders that our entire family rests. My dear husband also has the weight of his congregation on his shoulders, the spiritual wellbeing of many different people. This doesn't even include the other ministries he heads. If I were to meet him at the door with complaints and venting my frustrations no longer would his home, his castle, be his refuge, his place to best feel the glorious work of the Lord in his life.

But, even in the best of marriages, with the sweetest of wives and the most hardworking of husbands, disagreements can arise. These may be mere misunderstandings or more serious items that need to be addressed. Perhaps the husband has a problem with the particular dress of his wife though she may think she is still jealously guarding her modesty. Perhaps he feels that the dinners are not varied enough though she feels that she makes the most of their food dollar. Maybe he feels the children are not progressing well enough in their studies though the mother feels she spends a great deal of time and care in the education of his dear children. The bottom line is always that no matter how well run a home is there is always room for improvement. Since the ultimate responsibility of the family rests on the shoulders of the father, the head of the household, our authority, then it's important to listen carefully to his concerns.

Many women, even Christian women, will say they listen, say they'll improve but only say so to his face while grumbling in their hearts. How sad! For although Daddy may not see Mommy's evil heart, her ultimate authority, God himself will see. And he will work on her heart, to turn her back to her earthly authority with love. Of course, Satan can also work on a Mommy's heart, twisting her intentions and her heart attitudes, causing her to scorn her role, her vocation. No matter if she doesn't voice it, her family will know. The children will feel a current of negativity when she plays with them. The nursing baby will feel her stress and fuss. The older girls will feel that her heart's not in it when she tries to school them in the finer points of the domestic arts. And, most importantly, her husband will feel the turn in her attitudes. It will wedge apart the most important bond in her life on this earth.

What can a Christian woman do to combat this problem? Very simple. She must turn over her problems to the only one who can completely understand her heart: God. She must pray to his Son, Jesus Christ and to God himself to forgive her her sins. For to think badly of her husband, her children, her role in their household is a sin. To not serve with a joyful heart, with a positive attitude is a very greivious sin, nearly the worst that can beset even the most devout of Christian women.

But what if she does serve in love and joy? What if she is happy and content in her role as wife and mother yet there is an issue where she disagrees with her husband? What if he decides on a business investment with which she does not agree? What should she say if he wishes to purchase a new car yet she thinks their current car is serviceable a while longer? What if he wants to change careers yet she worries about financial instability? Should she voice her concerns to her dear husband, the man on earth who most understands and supports her? Should she press her point for the good of her family and her precious children? Isn't it her place to make her wants, desires, needs and opinions known at once?

The simple answer is NO. No, ladies, it is not our place to spend all of our time to question our husbands. You have no marriage if you don't have trust. And you must trust that your husband is always, always doing the best for his family. Every godly Christian man loves his wife as Christ loves his church. And he works deeply to not only provide but grow, encourage, support and love his family. Any woman who constantly questions, worries or nags her husband is doing more than voicing her opinion; she is questioning his relationship with God. She is questioning his integrity, his honor, his commitment to God and his family. Nothing but evil occurs when a wife begins to constantly question her husband's authority.

That's right. When your father transfers authority over you from him to your husband, he is doing exactly that. It is not empty words. It is very real, very important. From the moment your father says he gives this woman, he is telling not only your intended but God himself that your dear, beloved husband is now your authority. And what do godly women do with authority? They submit. Joyfully, with a light heart, with happiness, with utter devotion: they submit. They submit their will, their prideful will and their demands, their wants, their desires, their own needs to their husband's judgement and beliefs.

The most important part of submission is, to me, the joy of it. The joy of knowing that I am not lost, adrift in the world but under the loving, guiding protection of both my Heavenly Father but my lord on earth, my wonderful husband. I needn't worry about all the minute details of our family's path for my husband, with God's grace, knows! How freeing that is! I can bake, cook, sew, arrange flowers, play with my children, shop for wonderful food, help with my husband's ministry and, most importantly, raise his children without worrying about whether we need a new roof, if we should move to a new parish, if the car needs servicing or any of those things which God has given to the men in our life to handle. I can be the keeper at home, not the warrior in the world. That is what my dear husband does - he fights the tigers of the world, works against a sinful world while I get the profound priviledge of working in a little bubble of Godly love in our precious home.

God is so good!